Feedback Delivery
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In a revealing study, psychologist Carol Dweck discovered that how we praise matters profoundly. When students were told "You must be smart" after success, they later avoided challenges and wilted after failure. They developed what Dweck calls a "fixed mindset," like composer Adam Guettel who "faked" voice changes to avoid pressure, believing "to be very good is to fail." In contrast, students praised for effort ("You must have worked hard") embraced challenges and remained resilient through difficulties. They maintained their enjoyment even when tasks became harder. The lesson? Appreciate children for their persistence, strategies, and growth—not their innate talents. By tying praise to the process rather than the person, we nurture resilience instead of fragility.
When nurturing success, there's a delicate balance between celebrating victories and emphasizing the process. Effective feedback means highlighting the building blocks of achievement – good concentration, consistent effort, and lessons learned along the way. Yet, there's wisdom in not becoming robotic about process-praise. Like the fleeting scent of roses, victories should be savored in their moment while understanding their transient nature. The key lies in teaching others that while wins are sweet, it's the path taken and lessons learned that truly endure.